Aloha!
My name is Megan, but some of my friends call me Pume (poo-mee or poom-may). I’m a mixed queer woman born in Hawaiʻi and raised in California - and wanderlust runs in my veins. I attribute my travel bug to my parents, who moved me around to France, Germany and Greece before I could even string together complete sentences. However, it took me a surprisingly long time to start traveling consistently on my own. It wasn’t until I was in my mid-twenties that I realized I was never going to have an extra few grand to take a vacation or move across the Pacific, etc. – so I just had to go for it and hope for the best!
That was back when I first moved to Hawaiʻi to get more in touch with my roots. Now, over six years later, I am moving to Hawaiʻi again. After many years of indecisiveness, I’ve decided to pursue a master’s degree in Social Work. I chose Hawaiʻi so I can reconnect with family while learning about Native Hawaiian practices and integrating them into my work.
The transition has definitely been difficult and emotional but I’ve learned a lot, which brings me to my point! If you’re trying to make a long distance move ("LDM") happen for yourself in the near future, I’ve got some Dos and Don’ts for you, brave soul. I know it can be intimidating to make an LDM happen, but you can do it! Get out there, take some risks, and conquer the world!
DO:
1. Cultivate a team.
Surround yourself with a few select folks who care and can support you consistently throughout your transition. You want people who will help you push through your to-do list, your bucket list and those feelings of doubt. Try making a calendar full of everything you need/want to do before leaving and enlist the team to help!
2. Get rid of as much as possible—and make money while you do it!
If you’re anything like me, you have a bunch of crap that you can’t take with you on your move and you really need some extra cash. What to do? Put on a massive fundraiser/sale!
My amazing roomie/platonic life partner donated some clothes and things she no longer wanted, and we set up our house like a cute boutique—clothing racks, shirts hanging on the walls, tables full of trinkets, etc. We even had donation-based drinks. We made non-alcoholic stuff, but I’d suggest keeping some liquor on hand for folks who want to get frisky while they shop. Oh, and don’t forget to post your sale on Facebook, Instagram and Craigslist for maximum attendance!
3. Get it in.
And I mean this in every possible way. Get in hella meals at your favorite spots, get it in on the dance floor, get in some you time aaaaand get it in with your lover / boo thang / partner / random cuties. Now’s the time to retire Netflix and get out there!
Try making a bucket list of activities and start scheduling friend / romantical dates and adventures. Stick to your schedule, stay focused and don’t forget to build in that you time! This is crucial for your sanity.
Oh, and also make sure to take your vitamins and get lots of sleep. I’m not playing!
4. Let yourself feel all the feels, and then actually process them.
I only had two solid months to prepare for my cross-Pacific move, and during that time I was also in the midst of multiple personal transitions…talk about feels!
At first I really wanted to avoid them, but once I started embracing all the changes (and reasons why the changes were happening), I ended up on the magical ride of YOLO and DGAF! I started taking time to write, cry, etc. and to focus on embracing every moment of this crazy stressful, magical journey. Of course there were some hard times, but for the most part I was living the dream! I was super happy about how I was spending my time (because I was finally prioritizing myself) and felt so fulfilled because of it.
DON’T:
1. Wait until the last minute to pack.
Packing is the bane of my existence. I’m pretty slow at it, so I always dread it and then procrastinate. And guess where that leaves me? Sweating like a freaking marathon runner as I try to shove random ish into my carryon an hour and a half before my flight. Then rushing to (barely) catch my flight lookin’ hella disheveled with puffy hair and bags under my eyes. Learn from my mistakes, people.
2. Avoid conflict.
If you have any unresolved issues with friends, family, exes, etc. HANDLE IT NOW. You’re gonna have enough physical baggage on this journey, you don’t need the emotional stuff too. Be brave, share how you feel, and try to resolve things as best as you can. Even if the outcome isn’t ideal, at least you won’t have it hanging over your head when you move. Remember, this is your time to start fresh!
3. Slack off at work.
I totally did this and am now having to scan and send my timesheets across the Pacific to make sure I’m paid correctly…once again, learn from me here, y’all. Fight off that urge to slack off, and bust your booty up until your last day. You don’t want random emails or texts after you peace out, and you also want a good reference, right? If you work extra hard a month out, then your last week or so can be pretty chill. (Not applicable for people who DGAF about their jobs or are leaving hella abruptly. To those folks, do your thang!)
Mālama pono,
egan/Pume
*Feature photo courtesy of @bayarealife
